Pope Leo XIV on stage during their last visitHAH to Smalltown in 2019 with the “Smoke on the Stage Tour”
Art & Culture
Pope Leo XIV to Rock Smalltown
Pope Leo XIV rumored to kick off world tour in Smalltown
Anonymous sources report that Pope Leo XIV has allegedly chosen Smalltown as the launchpad for their upcoming “New Pope in Town Tour.”
Pope Leo XIV, most famously known as the all-nylon-string metal-rock band, has previously charted with hits like "Lego in the Attic," "Enter Snowman," and "Bark at the Moron." Their upcoming 14th album "Italian Idiot" is expected to feature a broad range of metals and possibly some alloys.
Smalltown Magazine has, unsurprisingly, failed to reach local promoter Oddly Overpriced of Straps & Cloth Enterprises for confirmation.
However, ticket handler Sindre Finnse has offered a semi-coherent endorsement of the event, stating:
“This one's gonna slap the paddle. Folks can spark up, yap loud, and stomp the beat while Pope Leo XIV howls in minor and major alike.”
Smalltown Magazine still has no idea what Sindre Finnse is talking about, or why director Oddly Overpriced insists on keeping him employed.
Pope Leo XIV – Biography
Genre: Sacral-nylon-metal
Origin: Vatican (Suburb of Smalltown)
Active years: 1998–present
Albums: 13 (14th on the way)
Greatest hits: “Lego in the Attic”, “Enter Snowman”, “Bark at the Moron”
Pope Leo XIV began as an attempt to blend Gregorian chants, Italian Catholicism, and heavy metal — and ended up as the world’s only metal band that exclusively uses nylon strings and altar wine as stage effects. The band was founded by frontman and lead vocalist Leo “The Pope” Subitex, a Smalltown local with anger issues and a mysterious affinity for death tones.
The group broke through with their 2003 album “Thurible of Doom”, and has since been known for combining brutal riffs with Latin, incense, and a mild contempt for musical structure. With their trademark stage costumes — part pope, part paladin — and concerts that open with a hymn and end in a riff-fueled meltdown, Pope Leo XIV has become a cult festival favorite, particularly where electricity is unreliable.
The band has survived lineup changes, internal drama, a brief detour into liturgical techno, and an attempted excommunication by a confused pastor in rural Norway.
Known for:
- Touring with their own mobile altar
- Refusing to use picks
- Releasing limited-edition fan boxes containing holy water and brass guitar strings
- Writing lyrics no one really understands, but which somehow feel deeply meaningful when it rains
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