Two individuals are currently under suspicion by WorkHAHaholics Party (Wp) deputy rep Trond Prunefellow Jr. of being elderly — and therefore a direct threat to the party’s workHAH-first doctrine.
Politics
Silver Surge Incoming
The long-predicted wave of elderly residents is starting to look more like a full-blown tsunami
According to the Smalltown Statistical Bureau (SSB), the number of residents over 67 is expected to rise from today’s modest 90,000 to 140,000 by 2050. Meanwhile, the number of people under 20 continues to drop. By 2030, old folks will officially outnumber the young in Smalltown.
“And who wants that?” asks Workaholics Party (Wp) deputy rep Trond Prunefellow Jr. “Our job in politics is to get people into work — which is a bit ironic, considering none of us at City Hall have any actual work experience.”
“Well, maybe change your policy then?” we suggest. “You can’t exactly sprint around retirement homes yelling at people to get back to the office. Most of them barely remember where they live.”
“You’ve got a point,” sighs Trond Prunefellow Jr. “Old people1 and the work-first doctrine? Terrible combo. And when half the town is shuffling around on walkers, the rest of us have to quit our jobs just to wheel them back and forth. Us politicians included. So who’s left to run the city?”
"Well," we say. "The comment sections on social media are packed with experts. Maybe start recruiting from there? They couldn’t possibly do a worse job at city hall than you lot."
“You may be right,” says a suddenly thoughtful Trond Prunefellow Jr. “Maybe we need to change the election laws. How did you come up with that? Ever considered getting into politics yourself? You don’t exactly look healthy.”
1 Old people are people who are old — often retirees with a taste for jam and menthol candies.
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